cannot

it is strange

and suddenly i cannot
only with the empty beat
of my heart along
the side of my rib
the hollow beneath the weight
of my stomach
built along the lines
that everything is now different
from yesterday

even when you kiss me
run your fingers through my hair
build the tension
along the base of my spine
and out across my abdomen
till you cleave my body in two
at the end of this moment

i am still whole though
still beating
breathing moving along
between the burst of my cells
and the boil of the blood
despite the possibilities
and the consequences

because you never realize
what it means to you
until you suddenly can't