Imaginary Lover

Hey
Are you listening to me
I'm always listening to you
Despite the fact that I can
No longer hear
Your voice

I want to see you
Laughing
Just like your ghost
As she whispers in my ear
Of a memory I silenced
And my enjoyment of
Staining the two of us
Red
With a ticket down to
Hell

You're always nineteen
With your hair long and flowing
And bruises down your back
You're smiling
As you say you wish that we were
Siblings
A relation of some kind
For blood is more definite than
An unformed idea
Sometimes I think I'd love to
Kill
That thought

I don't want to see you crying
As you curl up on the grave
And I could almost see you
Falling down
Within the mix of grass and flowers
As they grew over your
Pretend corpse
Within the sun

I want to see you sleeping
On the deck
As you create an abstract image
Against the wood
I can pretend for now
That you're mine
While I bend down with our hair
Mixing
As I steal that one kiss
That damned me

I want you to fall in love
With me
I want you to be mine
But you never say those
Words to me
In the context I want to hear
Now you're gone
And I'll watch your grave
Day and in and day out
For a shred of movement
Or a memory
To prove that you're
Alive

You used to say you loved me
When we were alone
On the deck
With the wind as it blew
The scent of flowers past us
And up into the grave yard

You used to say you loved me
Like a sister
For we were both women
You see.