Because this is what high school theatre classes amount to.
stage left: small living room with a couch and a coffee table
Henry McEggeleg – a bagel factory owner
Charlotte McEggeleg – Henry’s wife
Vanessa McEggeleg - Henry and Charlotte’s daughter
Suzie Peacock – a maid working for the MacEggelegs
Veronica LeStupide– Charlotte’s best friend
Prop List
The Office – scene I
1. office desk
telephone
chair
2. bagel - 1 per night
papers & pens
The Sitting Room – scene II
1. small couch – substitute two chairs if couch not possible
coffee table
2. coffee table decoration
tray & glass (plastic + cloth to clean up spill)
The Office – scene III
1. same as above
2. suitcase
Scene I
Voice : And now for another 5 minute segment of your favorite soap opera, The Bagels of our Lives.
scene opens in the office, Henry is on the phone, holding a bagel in his other hand.
Henry : Hello, Henry McEggeleg here. No, it can’t be! (drops bagel) Sir, think about the disastrous consequences this will have on the moral of the American family. I can just hear it now, the screaming children all across the country, wailing at their mothers when they learn that they can no longer have bagels for breakfast. Do you realize just what you’ve done?! (hangs up phone)
enter Charlotte and Vanessa
Vanessa : Mummy you don’t understand! Will you just listen?
Charlotte : Vanessa I don’t want to hear another word. Go upstairs to your room!
Vanessa : I don’t want to! You’re all the same, you never listen to me. All you and Daddy care about is that stupid Bagel factory and your membership to the country club. I hate you all! I’m going to marry him no matter what you say.
Charlotte : Vanessa, he’s street trash!
Vanessa : He’s a musician and at least he listens to what I have to say! You can’t stop the pureness of our love. I’m going to run away with him or die trying! (exits)
Charlotte : Vanessa wait! (exits)
Henry : Oh my whole world is collapsing before me. My bagel factory is closing down, my marriage is falling apart and my daughter has just run off with a punk rocker!
lights dim
Scene II
scene opens in the sitting room, Suzie and Veronica enter right
Veronica : Veronica LeStupide here to see Charlotte McEggeleg. And do fetch me a drink Suzie, I’m dying of thirst.
Suzie : Mrs. McEggeleg will be along to see you shortly Miss LeStupide. In the meantime please have a seat. I will be back shortly with a drink for you.
Veronica sits, Suzie exits, Henry enters
Henry : Veronica! Thank heavens you’re here. I don’t know what to do anymore!
Veronica : Henry what are you talking about?
Henry : Everything is falling apart! I don’t know who to turn to!
Veronica : You can always turn to me Henry.
Henry : Don’t say it Veronica! I can’t handle any more trouble right now. I’m barely managing to hold myself together as it is.
Veronica : I don’t think either of us can deny it anymore Henry.
Henry : Veronica!
Veronica : Henry!
they embrace
Suzie enters, drops the tray in shock and runs offstage
Henry : Veronica, now Charlotte will know. What are we going to do?
lights dim
Voice : And now for another 5 minute segment of your favorite soap opera, The Bagels of our Lives.
scene opens in the office, Henry is on the phone, holding a bagel in his other hand.
Henry : Hello, Henry McEggeleg here. No, it can’t be! (drops bagel) Sir, think about the disastrous consequences this will have on the moral of the American family. I can just hear it now, the screaming children all across the country, wailing at their mothers when they learn that they can no longer have bagels for breakfast. Do you realize just what you’ve done?! (hangs up phone)
enter Charlotte and Vanessa
Vanessa : Mummy you don’t understand! Will you just listen?
Charlotte : Vanessa I don’t want to hear another word. Go upstairs to your room!
Vanessa : I don’t want to! You’re all the same, you never listen to me. All you and Daddy care about is that stupid Bagel factory and your membership to the country club. I hate you all! I’m going to marry him no matter what you say.
Charlotte : Vanessa, he’s street trash!
Vanessa : He’s a musician and at least he listens to what I have to say! You can’t stop the pureness of our love. I’m going to run away with him or die trying! (exits)
Charlotte : Vanessa wait! (exits)
Henry : Oh my whole world is collapsing before me. My bagel factory is closing down, my marriage is falling apart and my daughter has just run off with a punk rocker!
lights dim
Scene II
scene opens in the sitting room, Suzie and Veronica enter right
Veronica : Veronica LeStupide here to see Charlotte McEggeleg. And do fetch me a drink Suzie, I’m dying of thirst.
Suzie : Mrs. McEggeleg will be along to see you shortly Miss LeStupide. In the meantime please have a seat. I will be back shortly with a drink for you.
Veronica sits, Suzie exits, Henry enters
Henry : Veronica! Thank heavens you’re here. I don’t know what to do anymore!
Veronica : Henry what are you talking about?
Henry : Everything is falling apart! I don’t know who to turn to!
Veronica : You can always turn to me Henry.
Henry : Don’t say it Veronica! I can’t handle any more trouble right now. I’m barely managing to hold myself together as it is.
Veronica : I don’t think either of us can deny it anymore Henry.
Henry : Veronica!
Veronica : Henry!
they embrace
Suzie enters, drops the tray in shock and runs offstage
Henry : Veronica, now Charlotte will know. What are we going to do?
lights dim
Scene III
scene opens in the office, Charlotte is crying hysterically at the desk
Suzie enters
Suzie : Mrs. McEggeleg!
Charlotte : What is it now Suzie?
Suzie : Mr. McEggeleg and Miss LeStupide… They…!
Henry and Veronica enter. He has very obvious lipstick on him, her hair is a mess.
Charlotte : Henry! How could you! Just because I’ve been having an affair with the butler for the past three years doesn’t make this any less of a betrayal!
Henry : What?
Veronica : You said it was the gardener!
Vanessa enters with a large suitcase, wearing a ridiculous outfit.
Vanessa: Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant.
Collective gasp.
Lights dim.
The End.
Lights dim.
The End.
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