Aim to Find You

10/15/12

This is not good for my heart.
I am watching,
openly, out of the corner
of my eye when I least
expect it, scanning
my surroundings,
my memories overlapping
unconsciously with the present.
I am trying to find you
even when I know that
you are not here.
I aim to find you,
no matter how small the resemblance,
the hoodie of the man walking past me,
the flash of blond hair
from across the room,
each moment building until
it all comes crashing down
with the realization of
this strange emptiness
of when you are not near me.
And I am afraid
to tell you this.