Surviving the Night

I am afraid
of surviving the night
as I let the darkness
curl over the blunt edge
of my mind, midnight kisses
falling, blacklight stars
smoldering a dry burn
along my skin.
But I know the dawn
is empty, white
along the edges of the curtains,
hollow in the space where you
once were.
I pray to end
before this night is over
for I don't want to wake up
without you.

end of the night

sugar and bones,
cracked beneath the grind
of my teeth, fingers scraping
the skull of the bowl
as i fall forward, my mouth
against yours, fingers enlaced
as i take your hair and pull,
forcing you closer,
close enough as if i could
swallow you whole
before this night ends.

May 23, 2012

I already knew how
this would end,
the rasp of your voice
as we talk in quiet whispers,
spinning memories and confessions
of love, my hands gripped
tightly in yours,
tears forming as I whisper
I love you again and again
until the echo of your breath
fades away softly into the night air
as I let go of you
for the final time.

Broken Spine

I’d hope that you’d lick me back across the pages, scrape your teeth along the base of my spine, words floating past the muscles of your shoulders, ink spotted upon your lips in the delirium of this long and inspiration less night.

            

I’m always waiting for your hands around my throat, warm in the memory of this silence, your voice muted against the heavy pressing petals of the sleep that floods this night. And I stumble, cross and scramble through the dark, sliding out across the floor, blankets tangled, pencil, paper, anything I can find within my grasp, naked in the stinging need not to let it go.

           

Because you wake me at inopportune moments of the night, in the back alleys, the corridors and emptiness found in education, the silent seconds beside the traffic lurching forward, your hands tangled in my hair, my body heavy, my fingers burning and your voice a whisper in my ear that I’m about to lose.

            

I am about to lose it.

            

I’m scared of this moment, for I need to be blindsided, pressed against the shelving, trapped between your body and the wood, your lips a feather across mine to muffle the cry. For I am nothing without you, the gravitational pull you carry, the smirk of a smile stretched tight across your teeth, ready to bite, smash me forward, burry me under the grave of my own talent. You are always ready to kill, shred apart what ever love I give you, in an attempt to show you care.

            

Still, I’ll take what I can get, the cold traces of impact you leave trailing across my body, the realization that I can no longer escape, no longer go back to what we were before.

            

For I was your lover long before we knew it.