what is left

You are not here.
And I am losing my will to breathe,
to move forward as I allow myself
to unroll at the seams,
careening forward into indulgence.
I am left with your weight
on my heart, your scent
crowded along the edges
of my body, teeth rattling,
breath heaving as I am gasping,
trying to fill myself full
of what memories I have
left of you
before they fail me.

end of the night

sugar and bones,
cracked beneath the grind
of my teeth, fingers scraping
the skull of the bowl
as i fall forward, my mouth
against yours, fingers enlaced
as i take your hair and pull,
forcing you closer,
close enough as if i could
swallow you whole
before this night ends.

tracing these moments

trace my fingers
over the bank of your ribs,
body carved open
along the green of the grass,
teeth smiling white
against the blue of the sky.
i need to swallow you down
this summer, your breath
hot in my ear, your hands
trailing down the length of my back
as i let myself fall open
into you, eyes wild,
skin burning
as we trace these moments
around the lake.

unfortunately

07/19/12

unfortunately,
this is not how i would have it.
i want your hands
on my body, teeth snapping,
ribs creaking as you pry
me open in a form
of benediction
against my sins.
i want no whispers of love,
only your arms open
to catch me, to punish me,
to mold me into someone different
from who i really am.
remake me.
for i cannot handle myself
this way any longer.