no longer sleeping

i am still dreaming,
white clouds stretched
along the red of my tongue
as i bite, swallow
and choke back the terror
of this day.

i am waiting for you to hurt me.

though,
i can break myself easily
in the time before you arrive,
tighten my fingers across my neck,
scrape my nails down the curve of my spine,
twist the vertebrae clockwards
with a snap
and a small whisper of a scream,

like a child in the black velvet
of the night, when I awaken,
heart thudding as the blood
pools within my cheeks,
my body heavy as
I could each beat of each second
until i am no longer

sleeping.

fly

fly
and rid ourselves of pain
grow soft
and feel the breaking of bones
tearing of flesh
relax
lean back and drink
the constant falling of rain
before we drown
so fly
high
until we are without direction
lost within this state of being
not fully whole
neither empty though
fly
as far as you can go
moving within circles
yet always leaving
fly away
from me
from here
from everything, until you can go no more

walk
for now your wings are shredded
broken
blistered
walk
for now you can fly no more