no longer sleeping

i am still dreaming,
white clouds stretched
along the red of my tongue
as i bite, swallow
and choke back the terror
of this day.

i am waiting for you to hurt me.

though,
i can break myself easily
in the time before you arrive,
tighten my fingers across my neck,
scrape my nails down the curve of my spine,
twist the vertebrae clockwards
with a snap
and a small whisper of a scream,

like a child in the black velvet
of the night, when I awaken,
heart thudding as the blood
pools within my cheeks,
my body heavy as
I could each beat of each second
until i am no longer

sleeping.

Open

My body is open,
curved wide along the pieces
of my spine,
heart failing as the blood
pulses weakly through my veins
until I'm left with nothing
but the faint beat of my heart
a dull echo in my skull.
I'll ask you to fill me,
hands fluttering along the sides of my ribs,
fingers tracing the ache of my lungs,
the strips of my skin blood ribbons
trailing down my clothes
as I wait to receive your love
and end the emptiness
inside me.