what is left

You are not here.
And I am losing my will to breathe,
to move forward as I allow myself
to unroll at the seams,
careening forward into indulgence.
I am left with your weight
on my heart, your scent
crowded along the edges
of my body, teeth rattling,
breath heaving as I am gasping,
trying to fill myself full
of what memories I have
left of you
before they fail me.

crossfire of these days

I carry this body in pieces,
the creak of my joints
as rhythm,
the collapse of my lungs
as weight,
the snap of my neck
as finality,
my heart black ashes
in the crossfire
of these long days just waiting
to be over.

Writing For You

06/20/12

I am writing for you,
about you,
the beat of my heart on the line,
the collapse of my lungs
as I breathe these words
over and over.
I find I don't know how
to deal with it anymore.

Confession

06/17/12

There's the gap in my chest
as my ribs are slowly pried apart,
my lungs gasping for air,
my mouth dry as I try to swallow
my heart down deep into my chest
before it bursts.
I can't believe I said that
to you.

Open

My body is open,
curved wide along the pieces
of my spine,
heart failing as the blood
pulses weakly through my veins
until I'm left with nothing
but the faint beat of my heart
a dull echo in my skull.
I'll ask you to fill me,
hands fluttering along the sides of my ribs,
fingers tracing the ache of my lungs,
the strips of my skin blood ribbons
trailing down my clothes
as I wait to receive your love
and end the emptiness
inside me.

Strawberry

What if I could taste
the seeded coating of your lips
and watch the juices run red
against the pale surface of your skin,
tracing your heart and
counting the beats to match
the trembling of your mouth as it
opens timidly to receive a kiss
and be crushed to mine with only
a semblance of summer rationality
against the harvest season
as the fruit ripens,
waiting to be plucked and eaten.

That Type of Love

That type of love,
marked black across the lines
of my skin rubbed raw
at the wrists and beating
painfully at the edge of my heart
as I lean forward
to fall.
I need to feel your skin on mine,
the crush of your fingers
in my hair, the tilt of my head
falling backwards
as I let go, allowing you
to be my only support
keeping me aloft with
the pull of those buttons,
the tear of my skin beneath
your teeth, my breath caught
in a ragged gasp fumbling
at the corners of my lips,
your name the last echo
before I allow myself
the gratification of
the end.

this moment in time

there's the tick of this heart
as i beat back and forth
from within the confines of my chair,
echoing the slow rhythm of each second
peeling free from the constraints
of the hour.
for i'll build and i'll break down
this moment in time, stretch it
thinly across the sides of the clock,
puncture it slowly as i dig my hands in,
tumbling and running my fingers through
all those numbers,
counting it down,
these last seconds, minutes, moments,
the gasping beat of my heart
as i measure my time left
with you.

together

05/16/12

hold through this feeling,
the beat of your hands
upon my chest, the trace
of your breath trailing up
the back of my neck, the kiss
of your lips but a shadow against mine
as my heart slowly shatters
and falls away,
layer by layer until i'm left alone
with nothing but this emptiness
to console me.
i can't ask for you to hold me
together.